Cats Rules for Dealing With Guests
Preamble: Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent. You will then have a smooth running household.
Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that lap.
For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select fabric which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white-furred cats go to black wool clothing. NOTE: Velvet takes precedence over all other cloth.
For the guest who exclaims, “I love kitties!” be ready with aloof disdain, apply claws to stockings or arms, or use a quick nip on the ankle.
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything — just sit there and stare.